It's time to spin-out and boil your heads! So put on your priest robes, paste on that fake mustache and slip on your rubber Stan Laurel mask, because this week we're talking about New Year's Evil! Looks like Blaze (The First Lady of Rock...like I need to tell you) is in for a bad night when a mysterious murderer calling himself, "Evil" sets out to kill someone at the stroke of New Year's for every time zone in America. Starring, bikers, skinny blonde ladies, and a kid who was in Killer Klowns From Outer Space!
What up! There's new Exiles, a new Aquaman arc starts, Teen Titans features the origin of Crush, Lobo's daughter. The fate of one of the Guardans of the Galaxy is revealed. (We don't spoil it...) A new Freedom Fighters book that is REALLY FUN! You know, that thing with a superhero version of Uncle Sam? Shuri has been turned into a tree, Iceman rides a razor scooter made of ice while eating a chili-dog, Hulk finally starts eating people again in the new Defenders book, Plus Marc Russell is filling in on Harley and it gets cerebral.
When hell is full, a single, non-articulated, rubber elf will roam the earth. It's mouth will never close. It's arms will never bend. It's legs will never be seen with it's torso. Mostly it will jiggle. Dan (Grizzly Adams) Haggerty stars. And smokes. A bunch. In typical Christmas movie fashion, the plot mostly revolves around incestuous nazis trying to bring about the end of the world by mating a virgin with an elf. This must be the war on Christmas I keep hearing about. So, grab a carton of Camels, stack your donuts just so, and get ready for Matt and Tristan to delve into the seedy depths of 1989's Elves.
There's comics. Did we read everything? Not really. Sorry. But I read a bunch... Doomsday Clock ruled, so did Immortal Hulk. So much cool stuff this week. Follow us @umactuallycomics on Instagram for more comic stuff!
Fantastic Four, Dead Man Logan, Action Comics 1005 Brings back a beloved character! Hellboy brings up a painful memory! DC's Nuclear Winter brings the looming apocalypse up as a fun backdrop for superhero stories! Jonathan Silverman and Andrew McCarthy drag Wolverine's body around to parties in Dead Man Logan!
It's Thanksgiving! What better way to celebrate than to work those Abbadabbas with the eponymous "Jake" of Body By Jake fame! He stars as a bodybuilding psychopathic serial killer on PCP who giggles like a kindergartener dealing out pro-wrestling style death to the unwitting idiots of a hacienda in maybe Mexico. Add to the mix a Rock and Roll Mime, and 6 other people so bland that their deaths don't change the plot in the slightest, and you've got Home Sweet Home... The best Thanksgiving horror movie that 1981 had to offer.